I started withdrawing from SSRI pills (aka ‘antidepressants’) in November 2022. This is a documentation of the different side effects I have experienced since attempting to withdraw from the drugs.

Simply, I do have an agenda when it comes to this post, that is to prevent people going anywhere near these pills. They’re extremely hard to get off because of the side effects. As such, forget all the legal disclaimers about ‘This is not medical advice’. This is definitely medical advice to avoid these alleged allopathic ‘solutions’.

Currently I am taking around 7.5mg of these drugs. It’s difficult to tell exactly because I have had to resort to an emery board to shave the pills down to reduce the dose because cutting them up reduces the dose too fast. I hope to do a follow up post in the future documenting how to get off the drugs successfully (but of course I can’t write that yet and I don’t want to tempt fate).

A final note: this is only for side effects I have experienced personally. Other people may have different or worse ones. This is an honest documentation so there are a few uncomfortable topics here. Discretion advised.

Physical Side Effects

One of the physical side effects of withdrawal is what I consider a compulsion to twitch or shake. For example, feeling like I need to shake my legs up and fown with my foot on the floor. I would say it’s not out of my control – it’s not involuntary in that I can make it stop. But it doesn’t feel entirely voluntary either.

This is one of the more minor effects for me that mainly affected me at the start of withdrawal in November and December 2022.

Phantom Sensation

This is a much worse side effect. It affects what feels like inside my brain. It feels like someone is physically pressing down on my brain. Alternatively it feels like ants crawling in my brain. I find this effect hard to deal with and distract myself from.

Sexual Side Effects

It is a well known fact that SSRIs suppress sex drive (this is separate from post SSRI sexual dysfunction). As such I expected my sex drive to be affected by withdrawal. There is an increase in sex drive, but this isn’t exactly a side effect because that is the sex drive getting back to normal. But I have experienced essentially overcompensation.

Emotional Instability

My moods can be all over the place including changing rapidly. I can sit there and be normal and then everything goes to hell. I get ‘attacks’ where I basically end up in bed having to try and calm myself down. Or I end up on the floor.

Apathy

This means what it says – inability to want to do anything. You may have noticed that I get quite passionate about things. I don’t really feel neutral all that much. I am used to being a miserable bastard. I know what to do with that at this point. Not so much with apathy and complete lack of motivation.

Suicidal Thoughts and Hallucinations

I have had significant suicidal thoughts since withdrawing from these pills. I’m used to suicidal thoughts in themselves (due to my vaccine injury). But these ones have an intensity and violence to them that is new. It is like, for example, that while I don’t see anything, I sense my own blood surrounding me. My brain has a fixation on blood – I had an extreme reaction to a tiny finger cut. I have also experienced hallucinations telling me to kill myself in violent ways.